Just For Fun
|Spread The News!|
year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor
Looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find
Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a
tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll
find the Cookie Monster down there" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the
doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat,
he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little
girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."
Want to know what this is? Click on it and find out!
|A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much." The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff, church, church, church . . . ."|
|Last Sunday, the pastor of
a local church began his sermon with a supposedly true story...
|"I was on a plane last week, flying
from Chicago to California, when we ran into some very severe turbulence. As it got worse,
the passengers became more and more alarmed, and finally even the flight attendants began
to look concerned. Finally, one of them noticed that I had "REV." in front of my
name on the passenger list came over to me and said, "Sir, this is really
frightening. Do you suppose you could ... I don't know ... do something religious?"
"So I took up a collection."
|Look at the chart below and say the COLOR of the word, not the word itself. Grab a friend and see who can do it in the shortest time.|
|There was a church where the
preacher and the song leader were not getting along. This began to spill over into the
One week the preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The song leader then led the song, "I Shall Not Be Moved."
The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The song leader then led the song, "Jesus Paid It All."
The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The song leader then led the song, "I Love To Tell the Story."
The preacher became very disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The song leader then led the song, "Oh, Why Not Tonight."
As it came to pass, the preacher resigned and the next week informed the church that it was Jesus who led him there and it was Jesus who was taking him away. The song leader then led the song, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus."
Super Sunday Terminology
*** The Eye of God ***
|This is a picture of the Helix Nebula taken by the Hubble Telescope. It's a cone-shaped nebula 650 light-years from Earth and it's pointed right at us! For obvious reasons, it has been dubbed "The Eye of God". Click on the picture for a larger version suitable for desktop wallpaper.|
|CAN YOU FIND THE BOOKS OF THE
I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu. Kept people looking so hard for facts and for others it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially since the name of the books were not capitalized, but the truth finally struck home to numbers of the readers. To others it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. Yes there will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly admit that it usually takes a minister to find one of them and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete. Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books in this Bible story.
One preacher found 15 books in 20 minutes, but it took him 3 weeks to find the 16th book. GOOD LUCK!
|Place your mouse on the "X" below
then click and drag your mouse from the "X" to the "O" and see what
X Even when you can't see Him, God is always there! O
Dying in the Service
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The boy had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood quietly beside Johnny and said quietly, "Good morning, son."
"Good morning, Pastor," replied Johnny, still focused on the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" he asked. "Well, son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor.
Soberly they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked, "Which one, sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"
|26 Beautiful One-liners
1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church. (pall-bearers!)
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the Devil out of you.
Isn't it amazing how God works in our lives! On a
Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his
wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.
The pastor let it ring many times.
A Wakeup Call
|Ever wonder about the
abbreviation A.S.A.P.? Generally we think of it in terms of even more hurry and stress in
our lives. Maybe if we think of this abbreviation in a different manner, we will begin to
find a new way to deal with those rough days along the way.
There's work to do, deadlines to meet;
You've got no time to spare,
But as you hurry and scurry-
ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER
In the midst of family chaos,
"Quality time" is rare.
Do your best; let God do the rest-
ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.
It may seem like your worries
Are more than you can bear.
Slow down and take a breather-
ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER
God knows how stressful life is;
He wants to ease our cares,
And He'll respond to all your needs
A.S.A.P. - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.
The Praying Rock
The secret is to tilt your head to the left until you see the reflection join the rock formation. You will see a woman and child praying!!) Really neat!!!
A SHORT SERMON
Focus on the dot and move your head towards
and then away from the screen... cool huh!.
Who Killed The Dead Sea?
|30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what
belongs to you, do not demand it back.
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them.
33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full.
35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
A Final Thought...